Ordinary Gweilo

It's not big and it's not clever, it's just a Brit in Hong Kong writiing (mainly) about Hong Kong

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  • HR weasels

    What is the point of an HR department?  Answers on the back of a postage stamp, please.

    I think I have been incredibly fortunate in my career (if you can call it that).  Only once have I been employed by a company that actually had an HR department, and as luck would have it they didn’t see the need to have anyone in Asia.  Well, they did hire someone but I am pleased to say that I played a small part in getting her booted out of the company – and as I recall they never replaced her (not in my time, anyway).

    Spike is less fortunate:

    As some of you know, I do a little bit of writing for one of the local newspapers. We recently were lectured about conflict of interest. Following that lecture, I decided that this writing could be construed as conflict of interest under the very broadest possible definition of that term. So I contacted the proper people and informed them of what I was doing, they took two months to get back to me, after which they issued a legal letter saying that what I’m doing is okay.

    A copy of this letter was sent to the Human Resources weasel in the home office who looks after my division and this weasel then gave a copy of it to my boss, telling him essentially that I was a bad person doing a bad thing and that I got caught and that they decided I could keep on doing this bad thing but that I’m a bad person and they need to keep an eye on me.

    And when I explained to my boss that I was the one who told the company what I was doing, he was also like, "I don’t know what’s wrong with that guy," and the answer, simply put, is that 90% of people who work in Human Resources are subhuman.

    Sadly I think this is true.  I guess there’s a clue in the name of the department.

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  • Red tape

    Phiz is having a few problems getting some sort of visa to live in the UK:

    Went to British Consulate today to apply for visa as Returning Resident. Gave them letter from work showing that I have worked for them since 1994, have been on secondment since 1999, and am now returning to the UK to continue working for them. Also gave them marriage certificate demonstrating I’m married to a British citizen and passport copies demonstrating that I am the mother of British citizens. Also gave them leasehold of our London flat.

    Is there anything else you can give us to demonstrate your intention to settle in the UK, she asks.

    Like what, I say.

    Anything, she says.

    Ooh, that’s helpful. Anything.

    What?! What could that be? If being married to a Brit, the mother of Brits, owning a London flat and working for a British company for the past 13 years and with every intention of working for them for the next xxx years, so that I can cash in on my defined benefit pension, is not enough, what will convince them?

    Bureaucrats, eh?

  • Trees? and Fish?

    What does it mean?  How can anyone be “Motivated by trees and fish”.  Aren’t there some words missing from that sentence? 

    Anyway, here’s the letter in full from today’s SCMP, and a small prize for someone who can tell me what it means:

    Motivated by trees and fish

    I wish to reply to a number of claims made by Paul Serfarty (“Sad perspective on how world must be ordered”, June 2).

    Whether or not the LNG plant planned near the Soko Islands will reduce sulfur and nitrogen oxides, or so-called global warming emissions, environmentalists seem opposed to the proposed LNG plant in principle. They want a “short delay” to something that can supposedly help humans.

    I don’t think their primary motivation is Mr Serfarty’s so-called “public good”, or free markets. Many environmentalists are primarily motivated by trees and fish. Secondly, I do not think that every value can be reduced to money.

    While I support free markets and think money is a very valuable tool to help trade, the ultimate standard of value for every human being should be their own individual life.

    There are many non-material values that can add greatly to someone’s life.

    However, one must usually act to gain a value, even if it is a non-material one. A value rarely drops into someone’s lap.

    Opposition to bureaucracy does not mean support for disorder.

    Fortunately order follows from rationality, so free societies that respect rationality are basically orderly.

    Of course, the rule of law in a free society can help protect the legitimate rights of a rational man from those that try to muscle reason aside.

    Simon Patkin, Quarry Bay

    Go on – all you have to do is convert this collection of sentences into something vaguely coherent.  Then maybe we’ll have some idea what he is on about.

  • The same old rubbish – but clearer

    Hong Kong will finally have Digital Terrestrial TV later this year (The Standard).  As usual in Hong Kong this is being carved up by the existing duopoly of TVB & ATV rather than introducing any new competition.

    If TV viewers wish to watch programs in digital format, all they have to do is add a DTT set-top box.

    Well, yes, but won’t we need one for each TV and one for each video recorders we have?

    DDT promises better reception, a wider screen ratio of 16:9, surround sound, multichannel programming and more. Two types of receivers with different specifications will be available. Using basic receivers costing several hundred dollars, people can view the four basic free-to-air channels in digital format, free of common reception problems like "snowing" and "ghosting."

    More expensive and sophisticated receivers costing thousands of dollars will provide consumers with all DTT programs.

    That will include existing programs and programs specially made for DTT, as well as high-definition television programs.

    In the UK, the available digital spectrum was auctioned off about 10 years ago and the successful bidder (On Digital) offered a number of new channels (mainly on a subscription basis).  It was not a great success – coming to a premature end when they overpaid for the rights to (second tier) football, went into administration and closed down. Oops. 

    The replacement service (Freeview) has been a big success, but the quality is not so good as traditional analogue TV (because they are squeezing the maximum number of channels into the available spectrum.  A high definition (HD) terrestrial service will only be available when the existing analogue channels are switched off (which will happen over the next few years), so if you want HD channels in the UK now you need to subscribe to Sky (or cable in some areas).

    By contrast, Hong Kong will move straight to HD, but with far fewer channels.  Maybe that’s not such a bad thing, given that we do have i-Cable, Now Broadband TV, TVB Pay Vision and others all offering a fairly wide range of channels (if you are willing to pay).

    Unless i-Cable or Now TV get moving very quickly, we will be in the unusual position of having an HD service on free-to-air terrestrial before it is available from pay tv.  However, Now have been talking about their proposed HD service for a long time, and maybe it will actually happen soon.  Incidentally, I’m still waiting for the PVR that Doug Crets was on about, and I am increasingly convinced that it won’t happen (because PCCW can charge for a limited VOD service instead).  Maybe Cable TV will offer one instead?  They need something to attract and retain viewers now they have lost the EPL.

  • Now I can see why it was cancelled

    Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear.  I just watched the final ever episode of The Apprentice.

    How could it go so wrong?

    Well, just for starters there were too many gimmicks, they “fixed” things that weren’t broken, and they ended up making it into just another reality show.

    There was not much wrong with having a “final 2” and giving each of them an event to run, was there?  So why change it?  This time there were 4 “finalists” and I had thought that at least they were going to make it more interesting by giving each of them their own event to run. No. Instead we had two teams, and a task that was as dull as dull can be (and, hey, I know a thing or two about that). 

    Then at the end of that final task, they had a boardroom where no-one was fired, so there were theoretically 4 contestants still standing at the start of the live finale. Except that we all knew that Nicole and Frank were just there to make up the numbers.

    Thankfully the finale was only a single hour rather than the bloated 2 or 3 hours we have had to suffer in the past. And you know something’s not quite right when the “special” guest is, er, George Ross, the Trump sidekick who had appeared almost every week in the first 5 series – before being axed in favour of the idiot children.  

    Sure enough, Nicole and Frank were despatched fairly quickly, and we were left with James and Stefani.  The problem was that these two had been working together as a team for the last two tasks, and as James had taken the leading role he seemed to have a clear advantage.  On top of that, Trump had asked James for his advice on who to fire in earlier weeks, and so it seemed clear what was going to happen. 

    Bizzarely, there was a sting in the tale, and Trump chose Stefani, apparently because of something that James had said.  The only logical explanation would be that Trump thought that James didn’t really want the job, whereas Stefani both knew about property development and was happy to move wherevever Trump wanted (which would not be so easy for James with his two young children). 

    Amusingly, the first two winners of The Apprentice UK each lasted only a short time working for Alan Sugar before moving on to make their fortunes elsewhere, and perhaps Trump was worried that the same thing would happen to him if he chose James. 

    Maybe it was even the right decision for Trump, but it made for a very flat ending to what turned out to be the final episode of the show.   In case you missed the news, NBC didn’t include the show in their Autumn schedule, and Trump quit before he could be fired.  Well, at least there was one good decision he made.    

  • Another HK blog

    Living in Hong Kong seems to have some interesting stuff from a Filipino perspective, such as this:

    Reasons why you should get a Filipina domestic helper

    Filipina domestic helpers can be ideal house helpers for Hong Kong people.

    They have children back in the Philippines.
    Which means: They know how to properly take care of their employers children. This is a sad reality in life that Filipinas leave their children to take care of other people’s kids. Just to make both ends meet.

    They used to be manage eateries in the Philippines
    Which means they are great cooks. While Filipino food is virtually unknown in Hong Kong due to absence of Filipino restaurants, these noble overseas Filipino workers (OFWs) are fast learners of Chinese, Western and other cuisines!

    They used to be teachers
    Which means: They are perfect suit for growing kids. I happen to live near a school and as a common sight all over Hong Kong, I find Filipinas who bring and pick up their wards at school. The schooling does not end up there. At night, they ready their school books and help the kids finish their assignments. Do I need to mention they have great English language skills?

    They are great lovers
    Which means: They are devoted to the ones they love. So devoted that children who grew up under their care often think they are their biological mothers. That’s why it’s a tear jerking experience to see a child cry his/her heart out when he finds out his che che is going back to the Philippines. Parents even make compromises such as longer vacations and better pay just to prod the loving helper to defer her departure and sign a fresh contract.

    They lived a tough life back in the province
    Which means: They are reliable in tough times and always have the initiative to work hard/smart. The bad side of this is that they are subjected to abuse such as sleep, rest or food deprivation.

    They are housewives
    Which means: They know how to budget the money. They often stretch the budget by scouring for the cheapest commodities the town has to offer. Chinese people are generally thought as penny-pinching folks even back in the Philippines. Therefore a certain skill of making things work out of a limited budget handed to a helper to the grocery is often necessary.

    They are spiritual
    Which means: They were raised to respect the elderly, be courteous and honest (almost, save for Preslyn Catacutan as a suspect). They can teach children good manners and right conduct.

    So it’s actually paying for a teacher, a house manager, a cleaner, a cook and a caretaker, all rolled into one. Yet unscrupulous employers still manage to abuse and underpay them. Watch out you morons, remember those things will all come back to you.

  • New, improved, worse

    What is it with people who design websites?  The SCMP website has been re-designed, and of course it looks better, but…

    One of the better features of the old SCMP site was ‘Today’s Stories’, a single (simple) page with all the stories in that day’s paper.  You could even go back over the last 7 days and fairly easily find recent stories.

    That’s gone.

    What else have they “improved”?  Well, rather puzzlingly, stories can now stray on to a 2nd page, with just a single sentence on page 2.   

    However, I think my favourite is the headlines with missing words, such as:

    • “He sold cigarettes, now he’s selling …”  Let me guess – is it cigars?  Or cheese?
    • “Gateway Capital joins Zhuhai rush with…”
    • “Thousands of home sellers facing…” 
    • “Would you drink the tap water being…”

    Angus Deayton eat your heart out.

    Any actual improvements?  Well, yes, they have some RSS feeds (finally), but if you were hoping to be able to click on them and add them to your favourite RSS reader you’ll be out of luck.  On the other hand, if you’d like to copy the link from the annoying little box that pops up then, yes, you can do that.  Right…

    In theory, readers now have access to the full archive (in the past, each subscriber was granted a generous allowance of 10 articles that they could retrieve, though you could buy more articles if you wished).  However, so far I am not having much luck finding any articles.

    And you still have to pay to access the website.  Good thinking, chaps.

  • Limited offer

    In February, I noted that Now Broadband TV (owned by PCCW) were offering 5 months free on their Mega Sports Pack if you committed to an 18 month contract. 

    I hestitated (well, it’s what I’m best at), first deciding to wait till the last day and then deciding to wait and see if the offer was extended.  It was. 

    Then they reduced it to 3 months free, and I was seriously considering subscribing on the last day of the offer (15 May).  I forgot, and now it’s down to 1 month free, and maybe that expires today. 

    The reason I keep hesitating is that these "free" months are not all that attractive.  If I’d really wanted Star Sports & ESPN, I’d have subscribed when they only cost HK$68 per month – the only thing I really want is the EPL coverage and that won’t start until August, so why bother subcribing before then?

    The other unknown is what they are offering for $178 per month.  Their adverts hint at a high definition channel to come, which will cost extra, and I fully expect them to have an on-demand service (as they do for the Champions League), but it’s not clear whether it will be included or not.  Will they show all the games in full, as Cable TV currently do on Channel 63?

    I used to think that Now Broadband TV were better than Cable TV because at least it was possible to choose which channels you wanted.  Except that it doesn’t seem such a good thing any more, because there’s nothing to stop PCCW adding more channels with extra bits of EPL coverage and charging more for them. 

    It’s a common trick of all sorts of companies to offer an assortment of limited-time offers, and I really wonder whether it works.  The problem is that you never know whether a better offer will be available if you wait a few more weeks – and if you do sign up and then find that you could have saved money by waiting then you aren’t going to be very happy.

    Magazines seem to be the worst offenders here, with hyperactive marketing departments offering this or that free gift if you sign up (my recent favourite is a USB cup warmer), and seducing you with promises of "professional discounts" and "best deals".  How do people resist?

    The discounts for magazines such as Fortune are so high that it’s obvious that individual copies must be over-priced in order that they can conjure up these ridiculous "discounts" and persuade you to subscribe.  Why would I buy a copy for HK$70 (or whatever they charge) when I know that a subscriber is paying less than HK$20?  It makes no sense.

  • On the high seas

    Sunday’s SCMP had a story about CD Wow (subscription required):

    A group of British record companies is suing a Hong Kong firm for £41.13 million (HK$638 million) in royalties it was ordered to pay by an English court.

    The companies are asking for the enforcement of a settlement agreement with Music Trading Online (HK), which runs an online mail-order music business called CD-Wow. Music Trading lists a Kwun Tong address as its head office. Customers of CD-Wow in the UK would order CDs and DVDs which would be sent to them from Hong Kong.

    The 2004 settlement agreement came about as a result of legal action brought against Music Trading by Indepeniente, XL Recordings, Wildstar Records, Mercury Records, EMI Records and Sony Music Entertainment and its United Kingdom subsidiary.

    In all, 15 firms took issue with Music Trading’s activities, and the seven record companies listed on Friday’s writ in the High Court are representing the interests of the others.

    The companies alleged Music Trading infringed their UK copyright by providing parallel imports of CDs manufactured outside the European Economic Area without paying the appropriate royalties. Under UK copyright law at the time, it was illegal to import an item without the copyright owner’s express permission if its manufacture in Britain would have incurred royalty payments there.

    The issue had been set to go to court, but the settlement was arrived at before trial. However, last November, the companies successfully sued Music Trading for breaching certain conditions of the agreement. The English High Court ruled the firms could individually sue the company for damages over those alleged breaches. Those damages would be in addition to the sum claimed in Friday’s writ.

    The writ seeks payment of the settlement amount, interest and costs.

    I also found another (more detailed and freely available) story on the same subject:

    The BPI has also come under fire from an unexpected source – the organisation’s ex-director of anti-piracy David Martin, who retired last year. He suggests that artists are not losing out on any royalties if the CDs were genuine.

    “Whether you sell a CD in Hong Kong or wherever, ultimately the royalties of that sale, if it is a genuine CD, will go to the record company and the creator of the work," Martin said.

    “In my point of view the efforts should be expended against the people committing ‘real’ crimes such as counterfeiting and piracy.”

    Well, yes indeed. 

    Striking another blow are market analysts, who also reject the BPI’s assertions that CDs are not too expensive in the UK. Mark Mulligan of Jupiter Research said: “Sometimes the music industry just doesn’t help itself. With music sales plummeting there has never been a better time for the record labels to start garnering a little sympathy. But then they go and do something like this.

    “With music sales declining the labels need to be doing everything they can to foment sales. CDs are still too expensive. If the labels insist on trying to maintain CD prices then they’ll lose sales and force many consumers into choosing between either not buying or going to a file-sharing network.”

    But the BPI insists that pricing schemes have to be different for each market due to several factors, not least of all the average income of locals.

    “The British record business accrues British costs employing British workers to develop British artists. Record labels therefore set British prices that allow them to cover those costs to stay in business,” said the BPI spokesman.

    “Average incomes are much lower in South-East Asia, and record companies have a choice of surrendering the market entirely to piracy and not sell there at all, or reduce the price to a level that the market can support.”

    CD Wow has pledged to continue providing consumers "the cheapest possible music" and intends to continue to "fight the laws that are in place to help record industry bosses rip off music lovers" but whether its prices will stay low remains to be seen.

    I had thought that CD Wow were simply avoiding VAT by shipping from Hong Kong, and I hadn’t realized that there were other issues with the way they operate.  For me, the biggest advantage is that they don’t charge for shipping (worldwide, not just from Kwun Tong to the New Territories).  Every time I order from Amazon I resent the cost of delivery.