Ordinary Gweilo

England have never won their opening two games in the World Cup.  Or at least that’s what the commentator kept telling us during last night’s game.  Well, they have now.  Of course there is the small matter of two poor performances, but it’s the points that count, right?

Well, maybe. 

I am wondering why I bothered to stay up to watch last night’s (well, OK, this morning’s) game, but possibly it was for the comedy moments.  Frank Lampard came up with an impressive number of different ways of failing to score, but none came close to Peter Crouch’s hilarious combination of stabbing the ball wide with an outstretched foot and falling over.  Surely it must have been easier to score?

Yes, I know he got the goal that mattered, but you’ve got to worry when you are relying on Peter Crouch to score.  It’s a good thing England have Defoe and Johnson in reserve in case they are needed.  They are there, aren’t they?  Sven brought them along as cover, didn’t he? 

Help!